What Does “Trauma-Informed” Really Mean?
The word trauma is everywhere these days—on social media, in self-help books, and in everyday conversations. In many ways, this growing awareness is a positive shift—it gives us language for experiences we once felt alone in. But with overuse comes misunderstanding.
A trauma-informed approach ensures that therapy is not re-traumatizing but instead a space for deep healing, self-trust, and self-reclamation. In this blog, we’ll explore:
• What trauma is (and what it isn’t)
• Why trauma-informed therapy is different from traditional therapy
• The five core principles of trauma-informed care
• A case study on rebuilding safety after betrayal
• How trauma-informed therapy helps restore trust in yourself and others
What Trauma Is (and What It Isn’t)
What Trauma Isn’t:
• Trauma isn’t just about extreme events or life-threatening danger.
• It’s not something you can compare, quantify, or rank.
• It isn’t just about what happened—it’s about how your nervous system experienced it.
What Trauma Is:
• Trauma is any experience that overwhelms your nervous system’s ability to cope (Van der Kolk, 2006; Yehuda, 2002).
• It is subjective—what feels traumatic to one person might not to another, but that doesn’t make it any less real.
• Trauma isn’t just about painful memories—it lives in the body, shaping how we feel safe (or unsafe) in the world (Porges, 2011).
This is why no one gets to erase your experience—no one else can determine whether something should or shouldn’t have affected you the way it did. Trauma-informed therapy honours your lived experience without minimizing, dismissing, or questioning its validity (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration [SAMHSA], 2014).
Why Trauma-Informed Therapy is Different
Many people have tried therapy before and felt like it didn’t work for them. Maybe they were told to “move on” too quickly. Maybe their pain was intellectualized rather than felt through. Maybe they left feeling more disconnected from themselves than when they started.
This is where trauma-informed therapy is different:
• We slow down, not rush through.
• We focus on safety, not re-triggering.
• We help you trust yourself, not override your inner signals.
Trauma isn’t just what happened—it’s how your body, mind, and relationships were impacted (Van der Kolk, 2014; Schore, 2009). A trauma-informed approach recognizes that healing isn’t about fixing you—it’s about guiding you back to the safety, self-trust, and wholeness already within you.
The Core Principles of Trauma-Informed Therapy
Trauma-informed therapy isn’t just a set of techniques—it’s a philosophy of care that prioritizes safety, agency, and empowerment (SAMHSA, 2014). Below are the five key principles of trauma-informed care and how they shape the therapeutic experience.
1. Safety: The Foundation of Healing
Without safety, healing cannot happen.
Many people enter therapy already carrying wounds of invalidation, dismissal, or harm from past relationships, including previous therapists (Herman, 1992). Trauma-informed therapy prioritizes safety in every aspect—emotional, relational, and physiological.
What this looks like in therapy:
• Honoring your pace—we never push before you’re ready.
• Learning an emotional language—naming inner sensations without judgment.
• Helping you connect to your body without overwhelm—we explore safety at a pace that feels manageable for you.
• Enforcing your agency in the therapeutic space—you always have the right to pause, redirect, or take a break.
Why it matters: When we feel safe, the nervous system shifts from survival mode into healing mode. Only then can deep emotional work happen.
2. Trust & Transparency: No Surprises, No Pushing
In trauma-informed therapy, you are always in control of your process. Nothing happens without your full understanding and consent (SAMHSA, 2014).
What this looks like in therapy:
• Your therapist explains the therapeutic process so you always know what to expect.
• There are no sudden deep dives into difficult memories unless you feel ready.
• You are always encouraged to express discomfort or set boundaries.
Why it matters: Many people with trauma have experienced betrayal, power imbalances, or having their voices dismissed. Trauma-informed care rebuilds trust in relationships, in therapy, and in yourself.
3. Choice & Empowerment: You Are the Expert of Your Experience
A trauma-informed therapist never assumes what’s best for you. Instead, therapy is a collaborative space where your autonomy is fully respected (Herman, 1992).
What this looks like in therapy:
• You guide the session—your needs, emotions, and energy determine the pace.
• Your therapist helps you tune into your body’s wisdom rather than override it.
• You are encouraged to make choices in therapy, whether about coping strategies, topics of discussion, or how deep you want to go.
Why it matters: Trauma often takes away our sense of control. Therapy should never reinforce that loss of power—it should help you reclaim it.
4. Collaboration: Healing Happens in Relationship
Healing does not happen in isolation—it happens in safe, attuned relationships.
Many people who have experienced trauma have learned to self-protect, disconnect, or struggle with trust. A trauma-informed therapist doesn’t position themselves as the “expert” in your healing—instead, therapy is a shared space where your experiences, emotions, and boundaries are fully honored (Van der Kolk, 2014; Porges, 2011)..
What this looks like in therapy:
• A strong, respectful therapeutic relationship where you feel seen and heard.
• No power imbalances—your therapist walks alongside you, not above you.
• Encouraging self-trust and relational healing through a safe, attuned dynamic.
5. Cultural & Identity Awareness: Recognizing Systemic & Intersectional Trauma
Trauma doesn’t just happen on an individual level—it is often shaped by systems, culture, and identity. A trauma-informed therapist is aware of how oppression, intergenerational trauma, and systemic harm impact mental health (Schore, 2009).
What this looks like in therapy:
• Your therapist acknowledges how cultural identity, race, gender, and systemic factors shape your experiences.
• Your lived experience is fully validated and never pathologized.
• Therapy honors both individual healing and the broader systemic context.
Case Study – Rebuilding Safety After Betrayal
One of the most common wounds I see in trauma work is betrayal—whether from a romantic partner, a caregiver, or a trusted friend. When trust is broken, it doesn’t just affect the relationship—it can make the world feel unsafe. Trauma can leave behind self-doubt, emotional hypervigilance, and a fear of connection, making it difficult to trust not only others but also your own instincts and emotions.
In trauma-informed therapy, healing from betrayal isn’t about “moving on” quickly or suppressing emotions—it’s about rebuilding safety, self-trust, and relational confidence at your own pace (Van der Kolk, 2006).
The Client’s Struggle
A client came to therapy after experiencing a painful rupture in a long-term relationship. They had once felt deeply secure and emotionally open in that relationship, but the betrayal left them feeling:
• Emotionally unsafe in new relationships.
• Stuck in self-blame—wondering if they had missed “warning signs” or caused the betrayal.
• Overriding their own instincts, fearing they’d be “too much” or “not enough.”
• Shutting down vulnerability to avoid future hurt.
They longed for connection, love, and emotional safety, but their nervous system reacted with hypervigilance and fear, making it difficult to trust again.
How Trauma-Informed Therapy Helped
Rather than pushing them to “move on,” we focused on safety first. This meant:
• Regaining self-trust—helping them recognize their inner wisdom rather than dismissing their emotions.
• Naming emotional responses—learning to identify and express their needs with confidence, without fear of being “too much.”
• Understanding nervous system patterns—noticing when hypervigilance was at play and learning gentle ways to soothe it.
• Using the therapeutic relationship as a model for safety—understanding what it feels like to be heard, respected, and honored.
Over time, they began to reconnect with themselves, trust their intuition again, and feel safer opening up to others.
Healing doesn’t mean erasing the past or never feeling fear again. It means learning to hold your emotions with compassion, trusting yourself, and knowing that you deserve relationships that honor you fully.
Final Thoughts – Restoring Self-Trust & Connection Through Trauma-Informed Therapy
Trauma-informed therapy isn’t about rushing through pain or forcing healing. It’s about creating a space where you feel seen, held, and in control of your own process.
When trust has been broken—whether in relationships, family, or even in past therapy experiences—it can feel impossible to open up again. But healing happens in safety, in relationships that honor your pace and truth. Over time, trauma-informed therapy can help you rebuild self-trust, strengthen your voice, and create deeper, more aligned connections with yourself and others (Van der Kolk, 2006; Porges, 2011).
If this resonates with you, I invite you to explore what healing could look like on your terms. Therapy should feel like a sanctuary, not a struggle—a place where you can soften, breathe, and reclaim trust in yourself, one step at a time.
References
• Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence—from domestic abuse to political terror. Basic Books.
• Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W.W. Norton.
• Schore, A. N. (2009). Relational trauma and the developing right brain: The neurobiology of broken attachment bonds. In T. Fosha, D. J. Siegel, & M. Solomon (Eds.), The healing power of emotions: Affective neuroscience, development, and clinical practice (pp. 107-144). W.W. Norton.
• Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). (2014). SAMHSA’s concept of trauma and guidance for a trauma-informed approach. U.S. Department of Health & Human Services.
• Van der Kolk, B. A. (2006). Clinical implications of neuroscience research in PTSD. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1071(1), 277-293. https://doi.org/10.1196/annals.1364.022
• Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.
• Yehuda, R. (2002). Post-traumatic stress disorder. New England Journal of Medicine, 346(2), 108-114. https://doi.org/10.1056/NEJMra012941
